Category Archives: limited fork

truth

Getting close to the Detroit Lit Walk sponsored by ML Liebler! I will be performing: “Higginson Matters in Magnificent Culture of Myopia” and I couldn’t be happier about performing this poem!  19 September 2015. 1:00 pm N’Namdi’s in Detroit!

The N’Namdi Center for Contemporary Art

52 E. Forest Ave.
Detroit, MI 48201
Phone:  313-831-8700

Email:   nnamdicenter@gmail.com

 

“Thylias Moss: Artist on the Cutting Edge”

ONE OF MY POEMS (“A RECONSIDERATION OF THE BLACKBIRD”) READ BY SOMEONE ELSE

Thylias Moss: “Out of the Blue”

 

Actual Detroit lit walk poster2

“Higginson Matters in Magnificent Culture of Myopia” will be in my new & Selected collection of poetry: “Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code” scheduled for publication September 2016 by Persea Books.

 

I couldn’t be more excited about this book, and certainly about this poem!

Update to this post: A small declaration of even newer life:
What I said day before yesterday:
I am steadily working on building a new life for myself. Despite what hurts, what helps, and what sometimes does both. I was stupid to stay so long in a relationship I knew wasn’t right practically from the beginning! He was cheating on the teenager me right from the beginning –I found out two weeks after the wedding, and yet I stayed –for forty years, Just glad to be out of that marriage… And now… My own poetry is suffering, my new and selected volume due out in the fall of 2016 will contain a poem written while I was married and my “signature” poem about myopia seems to be about him, and I can’t allow my new book, first book since 2006, to appear to center on him… I have submitted a revision, and at least it was true at the time of the revision. I can live with more recent –temporary– truth, than I’m willing to live with old truth no longer true at all, and not in my poetry where truest forms of me reside… I remain hopeful that newer temporary truths will prevail so my 2016 NEW & selected (emphasis on NEW) will steer me towards newer forms of life that I become able to find….

THE UPDATE:
I have learned that my poetry editor agrees with me concerning the revision; a version of the revision WILL BE! in my new collection, my editor said the re-vision is “a ‘very’ impressive poem. Amazing work, you!”
–I could feel it as I wrote it! Embedded in the words and my need for those words to be heard! –and they were!
That tremendous music!
I really had the sense of surviving all of what I’ve been through!
Poetry indeed has such power!
Poetry is saving my life!
The truest forms of me can learn how to breathe again through that poem! My editor read them and felt it too!
A surging of current!
A form of merger between multiple ways of trying to understand, trying to see “myopia!”

 

7:05pm
As I attempt to live my new life without baggage, I specifically mean without the lies. I WANT TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH! I AM NOT LIVING BACKWARDS ANY FURTHER. Sorry if this direction disconnects you from me. Absolutely necessary. My name has been “Moss” for 42 years! –all of my books have been published by “Thylias Moss” –yes; at the divorce, I was offered the chance of resuming my maiden name, but as all of my professional life was as “Thylias Moss” I kept the name! I like MY NAME NO MATTER HOW I GOT IT. –AND I WANT NO DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MY KEEPING THE NAME! –the name is mine! –whether or not I remain married… My post! –make a post of your own if you want one; say whatever you like on your page, just as I will say whatever I like on my page… Every official document I have says: “Thylias Moss” is who I am, because that’s true! –THYLIAS MOSS IS WHO I AM! –if MY name is baggage, this is the only luggage I will continue to carry. Be careful how you respond. MY LIFE, MY PAGE, MY “BAGGAGE” with a luggage tag for “THYLIAS MOSS” because that’s who I am! Period.

Some TRUTH I try to live by:

My words to live by (with thanks to Linda Hedrick whose post led me to them). I am not going to allow either my MS or my traumatic brain injury to rule my life. Period!
Billy Connolly is refusing to let Parkinson’s disease bring him down.
The 72-year-old comedian was diagnosed with the brain condition in 2012 – in the same week he was told he had prostate cancer and had two hearing aids fitted – and although it has prevented him from playing the banjo he doesn’t dwell on the degenerative impacts.
He said: “I am doing as well as can be expected. Some people get grim, but I do not.
“Funny doesn’t go away it just changes slightly, maybe some people get grim but I don’t. I think it is an attitude – you say screw it, let’s get on with it.
“You cannot sit at home wondering about your symptoms. It is not going to go away.
“It has never crossed my mind that I am gonna die. What is dying anyway? It is just a light going out?”
‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ actor admitted the disease is a constant reminder of his late friend Robin Williams who had the same condition before committing suicide.
During a radio interview promoting his Canadian tour, he explained: “It depressed me terribly. You don’t find a way out of it. You find a place to put it where you can access when you want it. Like your mother or father’s death you never get over it, you just find a place to put it.
“We were both angry about things.
“For instance the guy who gave me the final diagnosis that I had Parkinson’s said it was incurable. Now I think that is terrible; he should have said we have yet to find a cure … Leave me a little light on in the corner for Christ’s sake.”
From: http://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/entertainment/billy-connolly-on-his-parkinsons-diagnosis-funny-doesnt-go-away-it-just-changes-slightly-694531.html

 

_______

No matter what, it is the truth I want, the truth I need, and that means no longer pretending that the niece of my ex is my daughter, or that he child is my grandchild or her grandchild, my great grandchild.  THIS IS THE TRUTH!  Her biological mother is alive, a sister of my ex! –her child has a living grandmother, a biological grandmother! And her grandchild has a living, biological great grandmother, and it isn’t me! –THAT IS THE TRUTH! 

I learned yesterday that my ex had led his sister to believe that he was the biological father of my only biological son, but NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! –MY EX IS INFERTILE! –he did not father my child, he COULD NOT FATHER MY CHILD OR ANY CHILD! –he also led his sister to believe that I had more pregnancies (that he fathered)  after my son, pregnancies that ended in  miscarriage, and this is A BALD-FACED LIE, when all I want it the TRUTH! –I’ve had only two pregnancies in my life, the first when I was fifteen and raped, becoming pregnant as a result of that rape… I did not have that baby; I was in high school… my only other pregnancy occurred when I was 36 and so ready for a baby!  I revisited fertility centers I had visited with my ex in Cambridge , Massachusetts where we lived, and the outcome was always the same, and of course, the woman was always blamed for the childlessness…  We even tried in-vitro fertilization three times, my eggs and my ex’s sperm in a Petri dish, and nothing happened… When asked if we would consider a sperm donor –as was recommended,  I agreed, but my ex said: “ABSOLUTELY NOT” Nothing I could do right then, but I was not about to give up my only opportunity to be pregnant because of that selfishness and inability to accept his infertility, a protection of an outdated sense of manhood.

So I returned to a fertility center, and requested a donor, and I became pregnant right away, and I was told by one of the fertility clinic’s doctors, “What a difference a good sample makes!”  I WAS NEVER THE CAUSE OF THE INFERTILITY… SEEMS SOMETHING MY EX JUST WILL NOT ACCEPT AS TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF.

I JUST WANT THE TRUTH!

 

“Dream Baby”

Here’s a photo of “Dream Baby” –as she looked in “Mongongo Drupe” and as she looked for the last date of her incredible, beyond compare weekend with a total fantasy man, called Jesús in the story but

now called: Mr. Higgs –last date involved dinner –incomparable dinner at Vemilion Restaurant in Chicago  (and as she looks now, except that my hair is longer)

 

For details of that fantasy date that culminated a weekend, please read the current, the latest issue of Callaloo Journal

 

smaller_Thylias in Cushnie et Ochs dress; photo by Ansted Moss copy

 

Details on ordering a copy (won’t be in your local grocery stores, probably, due to the sex-positive nature of the content): 

Website of Callaloo: (http://callaloo.tamu.edu/node/227).

Issue of Callaloo in which “Mongongo Drupe” appears:

 issue, 38.1 winter 2015 and can be purchased from this website:
Once the issue is actually published first week of March 2015
A phone number for John Hopkins University Press, publisher of they edition, issue 38.1, Winter 2015, Callaloo: 1.800.548.1784

A Letter to Mr. Higgs: (Once Upon A Tine) –a fairy tale about sex after sixty, poetry, and salvation

Good afternoon! –snow is steadily melting; huge embankments still prevail;

my good news is completion of another draft of my fairy tale, now titled:

“A LETTER TO MR. HIGGS: (Once Upon A Sky-Blue Tine) a fairy tale about sex after sixty, poetry and salvation

— completed only a day later than I wanted, to make an appropriate gift for the man on whom the “Mr. Higgs” / “Prince Charming” character is based –of course no response yet from the one who received a copy…. I’m exceedingly nervous about this, for I spilled all my secrets –chamber of my heart has been purged…. 

When I receive a response, I’ll be sure to post gist, not quotes… For the time being, I’m just so happy to have this Word document, 244 pages long.

BUT: I DO HAVE A DRAFT! –AND NOTHING COULD HAPPEN WITHOUT ONE!

“Mongongo Drupe” this week!

THIS WEEK! –JUST AHEAD OF OFFICIAL ARRIVAL OF SPRING : VERNAL EQUINOX!

Just a small update:  Just heard from the publisher! –and the issue of Callaloo 38.1, Winter 2015 with the “sex-positive feminism” story” “Mongongo Drupe” will be available this week!  –that’s right! –my next post (about this “sex-healthy” story should have an image of the cover! –yes; “sex-healthy” a body doing what a body can when inspired by a willing partner UNASHAMED OF BODIES DOING WHAT BODIES ARE MEANT TO DO!  —Hope you like it!

Could not come at a better time! –Just missed my 61st  birthday, 27 February, but that’s all right! –Just want to see it in print! –can’t really imagine what that will be like! –just hoping for similar good fortune with the fairy tale itself: “Once Upon a Sky-Blue Tine” (of which “Mongongo Drupe” in slightly altered form) is a part!  

Drupe –feed your skull with knowledge; feed your mind with this story

  

Homage to Leonard Nimoy as the Vulcan Mr. Spock LLAP!

First, I must deal with the fact, that   Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock, half Vulcan and half human (He’s a blend just like I am, Native American, African American, and Caucasian), Mr. Spock, from facebook

died on my 61st birthday! 02/27/2015.

I was dazzled! –completely shaken, as this man has been my first serious crush (I’m so pleased to say) ….     I want to be from Vulcan also, and sometimes felt as if I were from someplace else, somewhere that would allow me to cross many boundaries of space and time, as if there were no boundaries at all, especially between people (yeah; such idealism is mine, no matter how impractical; I realize that wars will continue to be fought, and it’s very unlikely that people will ever “get along” –too much has happened for many of us to just forgive and forget.  So contrary to a sense of justice for which someone is guilty, and not just society itself.  

Perhaps why I’m so touched, so inspired by a story about the Gainesville Tornadoes...

And this tribute to Leonard Nimoy on CBS news, Sunday Morning –please enjoy this bittersweet passage –because Mr. Spock doesn’t end –a tine, behaving as all tines do! LLAP! LLAP!  LLAP! –in your new form….

Some photos of me from my 61st birthday, 02/27/2015, also date of Mr. Spock’s death, from COPD, same as my father in 1980, 13 July 1980:

Birthday pic 7 (02:27:2015)Birthday pic 4 - o2:27:2015Birthday pic 6 (02:27:2015)

Here is the “forker girl” youtube playlist of Leonard Nimoy videos (a list in progress)

Mr. Spock youtube playlist.

My beloved father (Daddy’s girl speaking! –pure Daddy’s girl, and I’m not ashamed of this! –he understood me as no one ever did…  Please try to understand my Calvin-tight crop 1950 copyCalvin & Thylias in WeddingBrasier family circa 1959 copy

 

 

continued attachment. Only photos of my father and I together.  My father used to Vulcanize tires (for the Cardinal Tire Company, in Cleveland, Ohio, and though I searched feverishly for some online recollection of this establishment I couldn’t find it, so cannot link with evidence of this memory, and Mr. Spock being from the Planet Vulcan, this coincidence is just too much!  My father vulcanized tires for a company that no longer exists –I can find no mention of it as if it’s more mythic than anything that ever existed… and this is fitting, since I was writing about the Vulcan mind-meld  in my fairy tale, “Once upon a Sky-Blue Tine” and trying to figure out what possible meaning could be associated with my birthday –that I was determined to minimize –who am I? and what difference do I really make?  –that is, I am not the center of the universe or universes that converge and diverge in space I occupy… Not my private universe at all…  

There’s just something about that mind-meld! –I’ve found the idea of it to be so very sexy; not the only way it was used on Star Trek, but when it worked, how dazzling. Mind gives birth to just about everything.  I’m glad to host a place so un-boundaried inside myself… Just the way my Daddy tried to raise me! –even to consideration of what lay beyond the stars! –he never, for instance, suggested to me that the moon was made of cheese –he suggested rocks, beautiful rocks, some of which might glow depending on what they interacted with, maybe green (Spock green) –maybe they would glow green! as in Verde, the Greening of Electrons a video poam I made, while I was still married, but here it is –please note — no Lorca from my ex-spouse, only a dream I had; only a dream… Sweet and green dream, but only a dream…so is everything! everything! My Mr. Spock youtube playlist

I grew up with a father always interested in how things connected… Perhaps he was aided in his view by his own mixtures of racial components, Native American, Caucasian, and African American, half of course (as was the Vulcan Mr. Spock a half-breed, a mulatto, mixed blood, as if anyone doesn’t come from a mixture of blood; as if there’s any one of us not mixed!