Category Archives: truth

MATTERS OF THE HEART

 

A comment is something you do not have to make,

so when a comment is made, I am grateful.

And I am particularly sensitive to those small accomplishments that really are huge; those tiny steps that took tremendous effort to make.

I celebrate them!

I try to take nothing for granted; a kind word goes a long way with me.

And an ability to trust and be trusted goes even further, for an ability to love and to be loved requires a foundation of trust.

Nothing can take the place of being trustworthy. 

Being good for your word is everything. Everything; I am most serious about this. Breaking trust to me is a form of killing; the slaying of what should be the best of the human spirit.

Maybe I haven’t lived long enough to become jaded; but I can tell you this, when I love, I love purely. If I  love you, it is a real and honest thing.

This is not what I demand in others; this is what I demand in myself.

And I seek reasons to love rather than reasons to denigrate and despise.

I hope that what may be said about me is that I’m good for my word,

My word means something! If I say it, I really mean it. If I feel something, I really feel it.

And I do not want to waste feeling on lies and breaking trust, for some things can not be reconstructed well, especially if they were erected upon lies.

Those structures will topple, but those structures built with love have a much better chance of enduring.

To demand more of others, we must also demand more of ourselves, and

We must, must be honest… Honest

 HONEST

Those Little Things!

Just a bird’s nest. Just a cloud, just a swirl of dust dancing as I still can, just a hand held, just my head in the bend of an arm, belonging there, just a taste of my friend’s ice cream cone, styling the swirls of flavor like frosty hair, the elegant and special work of tongues, the luxury of the comfort tongues can deliver when they say the right things, arousing the taste buds, (hm, that must be a kiss), and they can, just a little walk, just the comfort of being alive, matters who I’m with, surrounded by honesty and trust, drooping garlands of weeping willow tassels like green beaded doorways, and a heart that understands this need to be true, the song and music of this, –oh the comfort! –oh the love!… an open door, music of pots and pans, the taste of the spinach with peppers and pecans, and the most wonderful simple dressing, honey and mustard, plenty of pepper, black and cayenne, my son cooking a chicken thigh for me (I tried not to remember the pet chick I had that died from the fumes of painting our attic apartment when I was five), splashing in puddles to simulate oceans; the pasta swelling to my delight (cooking is so very sexy); I loved watching boiling through sides of glass pots, initial small turbulence that progresses as things will, tickles of excitement as penne pasta began to dance, frenetic waves of this –oh the frolic in a pot of sperm!– Such little, microscopic things, such life-giving, life-fulfilling things, orgasm in my pot on my stove last night….

Little Things


For those of you who have been waiting for good news about my forthcoming poetry, although a contract dispute still rages, for I have discovered some dishonesty I didn’t know was there. in the making o fmy contracts, apparently for all these years.  

I feel betrayed, that business must trump compassion; that such feelings are secondary to the corporation, even in poetry, poetry the  bastion of truth.

But that is me; for whom love is everything.  I do not play with love.  I don’t feel love easily, and if I feel it, it is real, and the loved one is worthy of this love.  No; it doesn’t have a monetary value.  It is much more than that… For if I love you, then you are trustworthy, and the more trustworthy you are, the more I can love you.    

As simple as that.

NOW

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE WANTED A TASTE OF THE POEMS forthcoming very soon in “Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code, NEW AND SELECTED POETRY

THREE  OF THE NEW POEMS HAVE BEEN RECORDED FOR POETS AND WRITERS, IN FACT,

Melissa Faliveno of  POETS AND WRITERS has loaded my readings of three poems  from “Wannabe” here:

https://www.pw.org/content/wannabe_hoochie_mama_gallery_of_realities_red_dress_code

  1. Blue Coming (in response to Bob Holman’s “What you Can’t Understand is that Poetry is connected to the Body Again”)
  2. The Glory Prelude (also a video poem and first published in print form in “The Offing“)
  3.  Me and Bubble Went to Memphis”

Please enjoy

and please love yourselves and love others. It’s the only way,

and strive to be good for your word! 

The Glory Prelude (video poem)

 

 

 

TRUTH! –ABOVE ALL

SORRY, but I begin this Sunday aware of the meaning embedded in OPTION CLAUSE #20 

 

OPTION:

“20. In consideration of the covenants of this Agreement, the Proprietor agrees to give the Publisher the first opportunity to obtain book-publishing rights in his next book-length work.  The Proprietor shall submit the manuscript of such work to the Publisher before showing it to any other publisher, and the Publisher shall thereafter have thirty [30] days to notify the Proprietor if it wishes to publish such work, and if so, to propose terms and conditions (provided that the Publisher shall not be required so to notify the Proprietor until the expiration of ninety (90) days from the date of the first publication of the Work).  If within thirty (30) days after the Publisher’s having proposed such terms and conditions, the Publisher and the Proprietor fail to reach agreement with respect thereto, or if the Publisher does not wish to publish such work, then the Proprietor shall be free to arrange for publication elsewhere provided, however, that the Proprietor shall not enter into an agreement for publication of such work with any third party on terms and conditions equal to or less favorable than those terms and conditions offered by the Publisher.”

Song of the realization about the lies from my so-called”friend” wearing two hats as my publisher, and as my agent, my agent lied to me, did not mention Option #20

clearly on behalf of the publisher, not the writer, 

Mark Morrison’s “Return of the Mack” –for the line “You Lied to me”

 

In the photo, I am illuminated by honesty; see how it glows! Maybe I shouldn’t say any of this, maybe I should pretend to be ignorant a little longer, but when a dead rat is found, action is required no matter when it is found.  And I have found one. Two hats, my publisher and my agent; those hats can not be worn well simultaneously.  

I feel like a fool for beliving anything.

Then again, you know what is said about “Smiling Faces” (1971, UNDISPUTED Truth):

I know! The TRUTH!

want to drive me to litigation?

This is a way to do it! 

AND I’VE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE!

A suggestion: throw out the existing contract and send me a new one, without Option clause #20 and get me a bound galley immediately, “Remember, I’m your FRIEND”! –HARDLY; I DONT THINK SO.  “True friends” do not treat each other this way!

They just don’t. Too much conscience.

And a need to live with themselves.  

TRUTH will get you in the end.  

TRUTH ALWAYS PREVAILS.

I feel sorry for those who prey upon the little poet, those who have that need.

I do not, and I am glad; I can live with myself without regret.  

No bound galley?  Really? I recommend putting a bound galley in the maiil immediately; prepared for publishers and not for me?

Send me yours then.  

Send me yours.  

You must have one or can get your hands on one.  I deserve at least that.  

Write that into the NEW contract also, for YOUR book evidently, not mine.

I will not sign it until someone without  a hat reviews it!

Hat brims can cloud vision, and pull wool over eyes. The mask has come off.

You know my address.

My poetry is my truth! –I do not play with truth. 

I am exposing a “black” truth behind your white lie; I am rememering what was said about rejection of a blurb; it is the reason that disturbs me more than the actual rejection.  I have the email with that content in it, and I will never forget what was said.

Also your reasons for preferring that I not post the PDF of the Wannabe”jacket, and this is a quote, this is the truth:

“We would rather that you not post the pdf.  They are made specifically for reviewers.  We don’t want them to be pirated, sold, reproduced, poems taken, etc. etc.  All of these things affect your income (and ours), and contribute to incorrect versions floating through history….  Please don’t do it.

Truth is Sacred! 

Friend as defined in Wikipedia: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship&gt;

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people.[1] Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles. A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier.[2]

Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of bond. Such characteristics include affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding, and compassion, enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.

While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests and have similar demographics.

–in case a refresher course is needed.  Seems to me it is. Note, please that “honesty” is part of the definition, as is “altruism“, “understanding“, “compassion“; thank goodness I know these qualities, essential qualities to life, elsewhere, a barren, empty existence without them…

 

thylias_wall-street-journal

 

thylias_wall-street-journal

Distress and Agony

Just when it seemed that everything is going as well as it can, I become aware of something that has been true for a very long time, but this time, perhaps more ruinous to my career as a writer, as a poet,  I mean…

Not my intenton to jeopardize my forthcoming book, about which I remain excited, but I do want it known that Thylias Moss is available for another publisher for my books of poetry; out of my 11 books, 9 of them are collections of poetry, counting Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code“, soon to be published in September 2016, by Persea, a publisher I’ve belonged to since winning the National Poetry Series in 1991, with “Rainbow Remnants in Rock Bottom Ghetto Sky“, a book that Persea published, and since then, all of my collections, in book form, of poetry, with the exception of “Small Congregations” published by Ecco in 1993.

 

Here are newspaper articles about this event, that came about because I dared to be honest; I told the truth! squabbling publishers-cropped copysquabbling publishersthylias_wall-street-journal

 

thylias_wall-street-journal

 

And here is the problematic bit of my current contract for my forthcoming collection:

Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code” September 2016, causing concern; this contract was prepared by my publisher, and  I did sign it without anyone advising me not to (I trusted the publisher who identifued herself as “my friend” (as she did with previous litigation to make sure that I would not go to jail; I recall that phone conversation distinctly; well, I am no longer that gullible child, and for another thing, I am resentful of “advice”  I was given but do not need, about “being careful in my relationships as long as they are not hurtful to me”, well my relationship with my publisher IS  hurtful to me, as my publisher wrote the contract, and I am dead set against maintaing that contract since that very relationship is the only “hurtful to me” relationship I have, I’m going to take the publisher’s own advice

 

OPTION:

20. In consideration of the covenants of this Agreement, the Proprietor agrees to give the Publisher the first opportunity to obtain book-publishing rights in his next book-length work.  The Proprietor shall submit the manuscript of such work to the Publisher before showing it to any other publisher, and the Publisher shall thereafter have thirty [30] days to notify the Proprietor if it wishes to publish such work, and if so, to propose terms and conditions (provided that the Publisher shall not be required so to notify the Proprietor until the expiration of ninety (90) days from the date of the first publication of the Work).  If within thirty (30) days after the Publisher’s having proposed such terms and conditions, the Publisher and the Proprietor fail to reach agreement with respect thereto, or if the Publisher does not wish to publish such work, then the Proprietor shall be free to arrange for publication elsewhere provided, however, that the Proprietor shall not enter into an agreement for publication of such work with any third party on terms and conditions equal to or less favorable than those terms and conditions offered by the Publisher.”

Some of that history of litigation here again:

squabbling publishers.jpg

thylias_wall-street-journal copy

I am seeking a publisher for my volumes of poetry after “Wannabe

 

Another poet friend asked me why hadn’t Norton  (of course, Persea is an affliliate publisher of Norton, as indicated)or Knopf gobbled me up, after so many books and so many awards, and all I could think of was the contract itself, when this dreadful passage was pointed out to me…   

 

Perhaps this will be addressed when my romance novel does indeed sell.  I know it will; I admit that I am impatient, but that book means even more to me now, and I cannot talk about it… Not yet.

 

 I hope that today will be the day…

 

One never knows..

 

But today IS the day that I announce that I am available for another publisher for my poetry.  Ideally the same publisher who oversees publication of my romance novel, but no clause like the option clause prepared by the publisher acting as BOTH my publisher and my agent. If this announced availability causes more litigation, so be it.  I have been down this road before… A road covered by the New York Daily News and the Wall Street Journal in 1994… 

 

I wouldn’t mind going to jail for poetry, something so dear to me.  Poetry tells a truth! Poetry is a truth!   My poems do not tell lies!  They never will!

 

I insist on such purtiy, even though that seems to be becomng so rare and precious, doomed by the injustices in which humanity festers, injustices such as Option clause #20, a clause I did not write and one I wish I had read better but the writer, my publisher, was also claiming to be my friend: 

a familiar or helpful thing, 

a person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side

“Remember,” I was told, “I am your friend.”

 

But another publisher is essential.  I am not new to poetry at all!

I will not crumple under litigation should any happen.  I didn’t before when I was served a subpoena in my office where I was a professor until I retired, at the University of Michigan…

and I already have a couple of lawyers investigating that clause, seeking an honest and legal way to break it; my friend indeed.

but we all know this, “Smiling Faces Sometimes”

as it says on <http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friends#favorite-4924077&gt;:

 

 

friend

A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn’t mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn’t care if you’re ugly or boring, but doesn’t even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don’t know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you’re being stupid, but who doesn’t make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don’t even think about who’s talking or who’s listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn’t matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.

The word “friend” comes from Old English “frēond”, which is actually the present participle of “frēogan”, which means “to love” and “to honor”.

I quite agree!  This post is for all of my true friends, and you definitely know who you are, and so do I, always.  There is nothing more sacred than a friend who can be trusted; a freind who will not cheat you, a friend who will not deceive you, and as far as I am concerned, there is no clause #20 in my contract.  

truth

Getting close to the Detroit Lit Walk sponsored by ML Liebler! I will be performing: “Higginson Matters in Magnificent Culture of Myopia” and I couldn’t be happier about performing this poem!  19 September 2015. 1:00 pm N’Namdi’s in Detroit!

The N’Namdi Center for Contemporary Art

52 E. Forest Ave.
Detroit, MI 48201
Phone:  313-831-8700

Email:   nnamdicenter@gmail.com

 

“Thylias Moss: Artist on the Cutting Edge”

ONE OF MY POEMS (“A RECONSIDERATION OF THE BLACKBIRD”) READ BY SOMEONE ELSE

Thylias Moss: “Out of the Blue”

 

Actual Detroit lit walk poster2

“Higginson Matters in Magnificent Culture of Myopia” will be in my new & Selected collection of poetry: “Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code” scheduled for publication September 2016 by Persea Books.

 

I couldn’t be more excited about this book, and certainly about this poem!

Update to this post: A small declaration of even newer life:
What I said day before yesterday:
I am steadily working on building a new life for myself. Despite what hurts, what helps, and what sometimes does both. I was stupid to stay so long in a relationship I knew wasn’t right practically from the beginning! He was cheating on the teenager me right from the beginning –I found out two weeks after the wedding, and yet I stayed –for forty years, Just glad to be out of that marriage… And now… My own poetry is suffering, my new and selected volume due out in the fall of 2016 will contain a poem written while I was married and my “signature” poem about myopia seems to be about him, and I can’t allow my new book, first book since 2006, to appear to center on him… I have submitted a revision, and at least it was true at the time of the revision. I can live with more recent –temporary– truth, than I’m willing to live with old truth no longer true at all, and not in my poetry where truest forms of me reside… I remain hopeful that newer temporary truths will prevail so my 2016 NEW & selected (emphasis on NEW) will steer me towards newer forms of life that I become able to find….

THE UPDATE:
I have learned that my poetry editor agrees with me concerning the revision; a version of the revision WILL BE! in my new collection, my editor said the re-vision is “a ‘very’ impressive poem. Amazing work, you!”
–I could feel it as I wrote it! Embedded in the words and my need for those words to be heard! –and they were!
That tremendous music!
I really had the sense of surviving all of what I’ve been through!
Poetry indeed has such power!
Poetry is saving my life!
The truest forms of me can learn how to breathe again through that poem! My editor read them and felt it too!
A surging of current!
A form of merger between multiple ways of trying to understand, trying to see “myopia!”

 

7:05pm
As I attempt to live my new life without baggage, I specifically mean without the lies. I WANT TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH! I AM NOT LIVING BACKWARDS ANY FURTHER. Sorry if this direction disconnects you from me. Absolutely necessary. My name has been “Moss” for 42 years! –all of my books have been published by “Thylias Moss” –yes; at the divorce, I was offered the chance of resuming my maiden name, but as all of my professional life was as “Thylias Moss” I kept the name! I like MY NAME NO MATTER HOW I GOT IT. –AND I WANT NO DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MY KEEPING THE NAME! –the name is mine! –whether or not I remain married… My post! –make a post of your own if you want one; say whatever you like on your page, just as I will say whatever I like on my page… Every official document I have says: “Thylias Moss” is who I am, because that’s true! –THYLIAS MOSS IS WHO I AM! –if MY name is baggage, this is the only luggage I will continue to carry. Be careful how you respond. MY LIFE, MY PAGE, MY “BAGGAGE” with a luggage tag for “THYLIAS MOSS” because that’s who I am! Period.

Some TRUTH I try to live by:

My words to live by (with thanks to Linda Hedrick whose post led me to them). I am not going to allow either my MS or my traumatic brain injury to rule my life. Period!
Billy Connolly is refusing to let Parkinson’s disease bring him down.
The 72-year-old comedian was diagnosed with the brain condition in 2012 – in the same week he was told he had prostate cancer and had two hearing aids fitted – and although it has prevented him from playing the banjo he doesn’t dwell on the degenerative impacts.
He said: “I am doing as well as can be expected. Some people get grim, but I do not.
“Funny doesn’t go away it just changes slightly, maybe some people get grim but I don’t. I think it is an attitude – you say screw it, let’s get on with it.
“You cannot sit at home wondering about your symptoms. It is not going to go away.
“It has never crossed my mind that I am gonna die. What is dying anyway? It is just a light going out?”
‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ actor admitted the disease is a constant reminder of his late friend Robin Williams who had the same condition before committing suicide.
During a radio interview promoting his Canadian tour, he explained: “It depressed me terribly. You don’t find a way out of it. You find a place to put it where you can access when you want it. Like your mother or father’s death you never get over it, you just find a place to put it.
“We were both angry about things.
“For instance the guy who gave me the final diagnosis that I had Parkinson’s said it was incurable. Now I think that is terrible; he should have said we have yet to find a cure … Leave me a little light on in the corner for Christ’s sake.”
From: http://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/entertainment/billy-connolly-on-his-parkinsons-diagnosis-funny-doesnt-go-away-it-just-changes-slightly-694531.html

 

_______

No matter what, it is the truth I want, the truth I need, and that means no longer pretending that the niece of my ex is my daughter, or that he child is my grandchild or her grandchild, my great grandchild.  THIS IS THE TRUTH!  Her biological mother is alive, a sister of my ex! –her child has a living grandmother, a biological grandmother! And her grandchild has a living, biological great grandmother, and it isn’t me! –THAT IS THE TRUTH! 

I learned yesterday that my ex had led his sister to believe that he was the biological father of my only biological son, but NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! –MY EX IS INFERTILE! –he did not father my child, he COULD NOT FATHER MY CHILD OR ANY CHILD! –he also led his sister to believe that I had more pregnancies (that he fathered)  after my son, pregnancies that ended in  miscarriage, and this is A BALD-FACED LIE, when all I want it the TRUTH! –I’ve had only two pregnancies in my life, the first when I was fifteen and raped, becoming pregnant as a result of that rape… I did not have that baby; I was in high school… my only other pregnancy occurred when I was 36 and so ready for a baby!  I revisited fertility centers I had visited with my ex in Cambridge , Massachusetts where we lived, and the outcome was always the same, and of course, the woman was always blamed for the childlessness…  We even tried in-vitro fertilization three times, my eggs and my ex’s sperm in a Petri dish, and nothing happened… When asked if we would consider a sperm donor –as was recommended,  I agreed, but my ex said: “ABSOLUTELY NOT” Nothing I could do right then, but I was not about to give up my only opportunity to be pregnant because of that selfishness and inability to accept his infertility, a protection of an outdated sense of manhood.

So I returned to a fertility center, and requested a donor, and I became pregnant right away, and I was told by one of the fertility clinic’s doctors, “What a difference a good sample makes!”  I WAS NEVER THE CAUSE OF THE INFERTILITY… SEEMS SOMETHING MY EX JUST WILL NOT ACCEPT AS TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF.

I JUST WANT THE TRUTH!